navel gazing with a purpose.

a. purpose.

really. Because I said so.

I thought this would be interesting, so here it goes:

This is the end of Chapter 2, that might end up in Chapter 1 because there’s no real need to have tiny little 2 thousand word chapters. So. Here. I wrote this:

“…Ellis jumps and the window
in the window, some shape that is man and not man. Plague masks and the black-silver glint of Crow and everything starts to itch. Every scar, every mark. The offset cog embedded in her forearm
turns
and the hare’s mouth opens to teeth.
It is warning, a rabid drip of spit and crimson and Ellis blinks as the Contingency officer takes one careful step into the foodStore , hand raised in beckon
and call.

Ellis turns her head and the rework’s eyes shift from black to brass, copper and his whiskers twitch and she realizes even before the Contingency officer steps over the threshold, and even before metal glints and a gear turns and a hind leg thumps against the dingy grey tile in warning
that here, as in Ferrule, caught is the same as captured…”

Yeah, the sentence breaks are actually like that because I like to pretend I’m writing “House of Leaves” (that I actually have not read more than 7 pages of, yet. It’s in the TBR pile o’ doom.

The Challenge, my dear friends, is that Ellis is on the floor of the foodStore, the police are a’comin’, there’s a randomly dead boy and a clockwork hare.

And, in the FINE tradition of Alice in Wonderland, my beloved scamp of a girl, Ellis, needs to either follow the hare (if we’re being literal) or just somehow Go Down The Rabbithole, and for the love of muffins, she won’t do it. So.

I can’t remove “Rabid drip of spit and crimson” because I’m totally all about drips of spit and crimson. (Better question: who isn’t?!) But I need something to happen. I tried writing it with one of the Crow/Contingency Officers (police) speaking, but that didn’t work – I don’t want them to actually make it fully inside and frankly? Ellis is smarter than to just hang out while the cops come on in.

So what, transition? Does it suck, is that the ending and I need something prior to “..same as captured” (I thought I did, and tried it and it didn’t work. So go freakin’ figure.

so then I came up with this, which is a start (I have no skills writing ACTION. I am a Tea Party writer, so it’s kind of apropos that I am doing this Alice thing, eh?)

“…It is warning, a rabid drip of spit and crimson and Ellis blinks as the Contingency officer takes one careful step into the foodStore , hand raised in beckon
and call

but the hare –
prey knows predator and alarms are not always the yellow of Seek, not always the screeching end of metal to metal or sirens on ragged rocks so very far from shore.
Alarms are sometimes this, repeated…”

which is okay, and frankly I’m all about making it better (I have been stuck on this for eight? months. Fo’ shizzle) later, I’d just like to get it down, badly, in a way I like before I move on. Like. Badly. Yeah, I get that I’m an oxymoron.

Anyhoodles. Let’s try this again, shall we?

“..It is warning, a rabid drip of spit and crimson and Ellis blinks as the Contingency officer takes one careful step into the foodStore , hand raised in beckon
and call
but the hare –
prey knows predator and alarms are not always the yellow of Seek, not always the screeching end of metal to metal or sirens on ragged rocks so very far from shore.
Alarms are sometimes this, repeated.
Urgent staccato and Ellis freezes as the rework’s eyes shift from black to brass, copper and his whiskers twitch and she realizes even before the Contingency officer steps over the threshold and even before metal glints and a gear turns and a hind leg again thumps against the dingy grey tile in warning
that the cog in her arm has shifted a second time and skin bulges, raised, the letterpress of the daily news, taped to trees and seeping black in the rains, and now
is now and she reaches back, hand around her bag as the hare bounds into the dark and Ellis stumbles up, trips to rising and her hand flies back and the bag
is airbourne, straps all tangle-wrapped around her wrist and she
and gravity works and the ceiling is a flash of water-stained familiar, tenement waste and her left foot leaves the ground and she tumbles…”

notice how that got a lot longer? Better, but she’s still not into that mysterious black spot of o, hello Wonderland. So, we must try again.

so I think we’re here, now:

“…but gravity works and the ceiling is a flash of water-stained familiar, tenement waste and as her left foot leaves the ground she tumbles
in a flash of rework brass and Seek, the slam of head to floor and fireworks just before
it all
bleeds
to black…”

Which I don’t actually like, really. So It might be impossible for me to go forward, as the last half-year+ has shown. Or maybe Ellis doesn’t go underground at all? Or maybe I take out the Alice thing, and just make the whole thing topside?

Good gravy I’m going to make some tea. Or go to sleep. Or something.